2010 Here We Come!!!

Zoe Laine Freshman 3/19/09 8lbs 2oz 20 in. long

I must say New Year's Eve is just not that exciting of a "holiday" to me. I usually could care less about a new year coming and I don't ever really think much of it. People are probably gasping at the fact that I just said such a horrid thing!!! I will be honest, I am not good at reflecting on things that happen and I really would like to be better. When I lived in Colorado for two years doing 24/7 they always talked about reflecting and at 2:47pm every day we "took a moment" and no one talked and we "thought" about our day. I "thought" about when our class was over.... bad I know :) I, for one don't have the patience to sit and concentrate on things from the past unless I am discussing them with friends (I process verbally), and I also tend to let my mind wander to the negative rather than the positive. Perhaps now some of you say, "well that is kind of the point. Focus on the negative to make it better in the future". I disagree! I would then just beat myself up over all the fights I caused with my husband, all the lack of patience I had with family and friends, all the times by bank account went negative...and so on. Then I would feel discouraged about the coming new year. Not fun. Not the way I think we are supposed to feel either.
So as I attempt to reflect on 2009 I will say it was a pretty great year for us! I enjoyed the first two months of the year staying at home, resting and preparing for the arrival of Zoe Laine in March! I am so thankful for my hard working husband who made it possible for me to do that! What a nice time to just rest before resting became a thing of the past :). Zoe is such an unbelievably wonderful addition to our family! Ryan and I absolutely LOVE being parents, especially to her! She has been so easy (sleeping though the night since 7 wks, laughs and smiles non-stop, etc..) and we are so blessed by the life that she is! Zoe is our miracle baby and her name is so fitting of her! For those that don't know, we had a miscarriage in February of '08 and that was beyond devastating for me! I knew that the next baby I would have would be a girl and her name would be Zoe Laine which in its entirety means "Life from the narrow path". Let me tell you that girl is full of life too!!!
After we had Zoe I don't honestly know what else to reflect on... the rest of '09 is full of her :) and the beginning of our lives as parents. We are learning what it looks like to have a marriage followed by balancing that with babies. That can often be a challenging thing to do! The fun thing about Ryan and I getting to both be Zoe's parents, is that we both get to be Zoe's parents! I love sharing my life and all that I do with my husband. He is such a great supporter! I loved having Zoe in March because we were able to enjoy almost all of '09 with her! It is so much fun and amazing to see all the changes that occur so quickly! New Year's last year I was big and pregnant and today I have a bubbly baby babbling away in her crib at the moment :).
2009 also brought me a lot of new friendships! Every Monday this summer I was able to spend time with all of my "mommy friends" who all had babies in the days and months following Zoe being born and out of that came some great and wonderful friendships! I can not imagine life without my friends! Every time we hang out I leave thinking, "Wow, I could NOT do life without them!". My heart breaks for other moms who feel lonely or out of place and I feel the Lord growing a passion in my heart to connect with those moms! I am still trying to figure out what that all looks like for my life though. I am so thankful to share this season of life with others in the same (pretty sure I said that in my last post but it is SO true!!!). I am thankful for new and deep friendships! They help to challenge me in the Lord and as a wife and mother. Best of all though, they help me feel normal is the crazy world that is "new mom land" :).
Ryan was promoted in the fall to a finance position in Woodhouse! He had only worked there for 11 months and it was the quickest amount of time anyone has been promoted to a role! He is such a hard worker and such a man of integrity! I am so proud of him and all he has and will accomplish!
Towards the end of this year we had really begun to be convicted about our finances. To be honest, we stink! I hate money and it makes me want to puke! We, as most newlyweds had accumulated the big D: Debt! I hate debt more than anything! I would put it at the top of the list of things I hate under Satan. Like #1 would say: "I hate Satan" and #2 would say: " I hate debt". We are learning that in order to fully live the life the Lord has for us we must eliminate this issue! The bondage that comes with debt has become unbearable and I just can't imagine piling more onto it! So as 2010 approaches (well it's here, like tomorrow) our #1 goal is to eliminate this as much as possible! We know it will be so hard but we actually are really excited about it! We are really looking forward to what the Lord will have for us at the end! Even though we feel like we can't really see the light at the end of the tunnel we know it is there and we can't wait to see how bright it is! Unfortunately, this means I have to be better about cooking :). I enjoy cooking I just hate taking the time to cook. I wish we could live off cupcakes because that would be more fun for me :). So if you all ever think of it, feel free to pray for us as we journey down the path to financial freedom! The Lord has already proven himself faithful to us as the enemy tries to distract us from this! I always like to pray for the Lord to send money in the mail because I think those are the best stories and we have already had it happen to us 2 times since we committed to this process!
So as 2009 closes we can look back with happy hearts on a great year for us and as we approach 2010 we look ahead with anticipation in our hearts! We are so excited to see what happens and how our lives will be changed. I don't think, other than our debt issue, that we really have any other major goals we want to accomplish. Maybe that sounds bad to some, but for us it we like it that way. Then we don't have the fear of failure looming overhead or the disappointment that we did not accomplish all we had set out to do. We know that if we continue to trust in the Lord and His faithfulness that we will succeed in 2010. We still have wants and desires for the year ahead (like a new house, possibly new baby, etc) but if they don't all happen then we know that 2010 will still be a good year if we so chose (except having a new house really would make it awesome!).
Happy New Year!!!

Zoe 9 months old December 2009 21lbs 2oz
"Praise Jesus!!"

Pressing towards the goal

Wife First.



Phillipians 3:12-14 ¹²Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Wife first, mom second. That is my goal I am striving towards. Yes, of course, Jesus follower is the overall umbrella in which this all falls under :).I think it is interesting how the world has created what is "normal" is in all reality, the opposite of how it should be. When I was thinking of what I want my title for this blog to be: Wife First Mom Second, I thought about how even that in today's world is not normal. Like for instance, Jon and Kate plus 8. LOVED that show and sobbed my eyes out during the last episode. But as I hear them speak all they say/said was that first and foremost they are parents. Obviously they have forgotten what made them parents originally, because with out Jon, Kate wouldn't be a mom and with out Kate, Jon wouldn't be a dad. Right? In a way, I kind of hope the title of this bumps some, and it may because it's not the "norm", but it is the way it should be. I put the verse from Phillipians up because I don't have this down pat by any means but, I am going to try my hardest to love my husband and prefer him over my daughter,not that she will ever be in need but, so that we can be a better team and be better spouses and parents. I would love to have this task mastered but I don't and I probably never will because I am human and that is just the way it goes. I can continue to press on though, and learn from the Word and those around me and try my hardest to accomplish this.

Growing up I have wanted nothing more than to be married and be a mom. I also thought this would all be much easier than it really is, if I am just being honest. I thought "of course I will grow up and be the best helper/completer there is to my husband and the whole mom thing will be a breeze with showers and make up every day:)". Wow! I was wrong! I don't mean that in a bad way but when people say you have to work at marriage and families they aren't joking! It is the best thing you will ever have to work at though! I have the greatest husband and daughter in the world and truly could not ask for anything more! I am so fortunate to be able to stay at home with my sweet Zoe Laine and the credit for that really must go to my husband! He is such a hard working man and has such long hours and I am so grateful to him for his sacrifce!

As I start this blog my heart behind it is to be able to encourage those around me and shar my journey that the Lord is taking me and my family on. Since having Zoe, the Lord has really used her to teach me the importance of community and having others to lean on and learn from that are in similar seasons of life or have traveled through similar seasons. I am trying to learn to love the hard seasons and the "pruning" seasons because from those times comes the best fruit possible. Being a new mom is a hard job and I am so fortunate to have friends in the same boat with babies just months apart from Zoe. At times I may write about being a wife, or a mom, or both, or just something completely random that the Lord is teaching me or maybe even something funny. I really want to be a so funny person! Ha! Truly in all seriousness, I just ask that the Lord would use this blog to touch others and even to use it as my mission field when I cant physically go to the nations (my heart) or directly speak into others lives. So I hope you all enjoy as I start this. Feel free to leave comments or whatever you want. I am thankful for the life I have and the family I have and the God I get to serve when I am so unworthy of all of those.

So here I go pressing on towards the goal knowing bumps and bruises will come but the overall reward is going to be so worth it!
Mom Second.